Introduction

• We all have defining moments in our lives - meaningful experiences that stand out in our memory
• Defining moments shape our lives, but we don't have to wait for them to happen. We can be the authors of them
• We tend to remember flagship moments: the peaks, the pits and the transitions
• A defining moment is a short experience that is both memorable and meaningful
• Elevation: Defining moments rise above the everyday
• Moments of elevation transcend the normal course of events; they are literally extraordinary
• Insight: In a few seconds or minutes, we realize something that might influence our lives for decades
• Moments when people abruptly saw things as they were
• Pride: Defining moments capture us at our best - moments of achievement, moments of courage
• Connection: Defining moments are social (weddings, graduations, etc)
• Transitions should be marked, milestones commemorated and pits filled

Elevation

• Moments of elevation are experiences that rise above the everyday. Times to be savored. Moments that make us feel engaged, joyful, amazed, motivated. They are peaks
• When customers contact you because they've had a problem with your product / service, you should focus on defense, you should focus on efficiency and not try to "delight" them
• To exceed customer expectations and create a memorable experience, you need the behavioral and interpersonal parts of the service. You need the element of pleasant surprise. And that comes when human beings interact
• We tend to obsess about problems and negative information
• Negative feedback packs a heavier punch than positive (Bad is stronger than Good)

How to build peaks

1. Boost sensory appeal
2. Raise the stakes
3. Break the script

• Things look better, taste better, sound better, feel better than they usually do
• A peak means something special is happening; it should look different
• To raise the stakes is to add an element of productive pressure:  a competition, a game, a performance, a deadline, a public commitment
• One simple diagnostic to gauge whether you've transcended the ordinary is if people feel the need to pull out their cameras (I want to remember this - That's a moment os elevation)
• It's usually no one's job to create a peak
• It's going to be way harder than you think to create peaks. But once you've done it, you're going to consider every ounce of effort worth it
• Breaking the script isn't just surprise, it's strategic surprise
• We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most alive when they're not

Insight

• Moments os insight deliver realizations and transformations
• When you have a sudden realization, one that you didn't see coming and one that you know viscerally is right, you're tripped over the truth. It's a defining moment that in an instant can change the way you see the world
• The "aha!" moment should always happen in the minds of the audience
• This 3-part recipe provides a blueprint for us when we want people to confront uncomfortable truths
• Action leads to insights more often than insights leads to actions
• Learning who we are and what we want and what we're capable of it's a lifelong process
• A good idea is just a starting point - What separate one person from another with the same idea is persistence
• By stretching we create moments of self-insight that wellspring of mental health and well-being
• We will never know our reach unless we stretch - The promise of stretching is not success, it's learning

Pride

• The recognition is spontaneous - not part of a schedule feedback session - and it is targeted at particular behaviors
• Hitting a milestone sparks pride. It should also spark a celebration - a moment of elevation
• Milestones deserve peaks
• By multiplying milestones, we transform a long, amorphous race into one with many intermediate "finish lines". As we push through each one, we experience a burst of pride as well as a jolt of energy to charge toward the next one
• Courage isn't just suppressed fear. It's also the knowledge of how to act in the moment
• Courage is contagious - It's hard to be courageous, but it's easier when you've practiced and when you stand up others will join you
• Your moment of courage might be a defining moment for someone else - a signal to them. And it can be righted if we stand together, against it
• There are 3 practical principles we can use to create more moments of pride:

1. Recognize others
2. Multiply meaningful milestones
3. Practice courage

Connection

• Moments of connection deepen our relationships with others
• Remote contact is perfectly suitable for day-to-day communication and collaboration. But a big moment needs to be shared in person
• If you want to be part of a group that bonds like cement, take on a really demanding task that's deeply meaningful. All of you will remember it for the rest of your lives
• Purpose is defined as the sense that you are contributing to others, that your work has broader meaning. Passion is the feeling of excitement or enthusiasm you have about your work
• Purpose trumps passion
• Passion is individualistic
• Purpose is something people can share. It knit groups together
• Understanding the purpose of the work allows for innovation and improvisation

‍